Season 3, Episode 10: Solo Episode with Kelli
What fears are you experiencing that are holding you back from stepping into your own version of success?
I’ve had to overcome many fears in my life- from feeling like I’m not good enough to dealing with imposter syndrome – and fear of failing (that was a big one.)
For a decade I stayed in a corporate job I disliked on good days; and loathed on the bad days.
But I was afraid of stepping into the unknown- into something new because what if I failed?
What if I walked away from my job (that was “secure” in a sense) and I took a leap then fell flat on my face? What if I couldn’t replace my income?
What if….What if….What if….
I finally had to look all my fears in the face – and ask myself / “Is this a legitimate concern, or is it False Evidence Appearing Real?”
I came to the conclusion that staying in that job would bring me even more frustration, negative thoughts & put me in an even darker place than I already was – therefore I decided my dreams were worth more than my fears.
And since then I’ve come up against the same fear- each time I want to launch into something new. New level = new devil!
But each time the fear resurfaced I’ve built an arsenal of tools to deal with it derailing my progress.
The truth is- we have all at some point made up scenarios in our minds of what could possibly go wrong if we take a chance on something unknown. This is just our ego trying to protect us from failure or from unknown circumstances.
You know – those little movie reels of anxiety playing through our minds making up a reality that doesn’t exist – telling us we better just stay in place, because taking a chance can lead to unknown consequences.
Now- some of these fears are derived from childhood and are deep seated (I’ve had to work through some of those myself- so I understand.) Sometimes the fear we notice first is only the one at the surface, and we have to keep digging deeper like peeling off layers of an onion to reach the core of the fear. It’s an ongoing process, but it gets easier with practice.
But if we never take a chance on getting to the root of the fear, and assessing whether it’s truly a threat/danger or if it’s something that may seem way less scary once we look the fear dead on and tell it “You will no longer control my life. I release you,” then we’ll never discover what is waiting for us on the other side of the fear. Often times clarity, hope, happiness, and fulfillment is on the other side.
And I’m not talking about someone else’s version of what a happy life should look like.
This is your own version of happiness and success. It’s not someone else’s formula.
It took me digging deeper than I ever have in my mindset work to uncover my deep rooted fears – and I had to release them in order to break through the next level in my life and business.
I’m not perfect – but I now have developed self-coaching tools that I can grab out of my back pocket when these pesky fears try to resurface.
Do this quick exercise to uncover a fear you have and start thinking about how you can release the fear and move past it to reach your goal.
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Turn off your phone notifications or email alerts. Try to tune out and drop into your own mind and body. Take a few long, deep breaths. Truly be present in this moment. Imagine the biggest or scariest goal you have for your life – it could be writing a book, it could be climbing Mount Everest or it could be having another baby. You get to choose your dream.
Whatever it is, really picture your goal and imagine how you’d feel achieving that goal.
Now notice the fear that pops up when thinking of the goal. Notice what the fear is. Recognize the fear. Look at the fear; it usually appears as a sense of darkness floating above our heads when our eyes are closed.
The fear will often tell us some form of, “But I can’t do that because….”
Acknowledge the fear. See the fear.
Now ask yourself- “Is this fear coming from an unknown place; is it a false assumption? Or is it a legit concern?
So say your fear is falling or hurting yourself climbing a mountain. That’s a legit concern. But there are safety precautions you can take to avoid this happening. Ah- a solution to a legit concern!
Or the writing a book example – your fear might be “but I’m afraid of being visible,” or “what if no-one reads my book?” (Two of my fears!)
What is your reason for wanting to write the book? Is it to impact people- to help them in some way- make them feel they are not alone? Wouldn’t that impact be worth risking your fear of being visible?
So your mind might be telling you that you’re afraid of being visible, but this might be false evidence appearing real, because your ultimate goal outweighs the “possible” negative outcome.
Sometimes we just need to take the leap into the unknown despite our fears, because doing so will lead us into the future place we long to be in – the place of our dreams – which can be our reality if we reason with our fears (not push them aside), but learn to talk to our fears and ask them if they are real or if they are simply our ego mind trying to protect us from unknown outcomes.
Once we have a good relationship with our fears we can better discern how to navigate them and how to not let them derail our progress toward our big dreams.
If you want to dive deeper into uncovering fears and releasing them so you can finally start working on your big goals to move forward in your life + business – I’m offering a select number of 1:1 coaching sessions in November & December!
In either 1, 2 or 3 sessions we’ll work together on digging into your mindset, what is holding you back from pursuing your dreams, stepping into the unknown and “Doing it messy,” so you can start working on your goals and walking in the direction of your dream working mom life!
Think of this as your plan to set yourself up for forward progress in 2022. I’d love to help you figure out a plan of action going into the new year so you can feel confident walking in the direction of your dreams as a passionate purpose-driven mom.
Because this can be your year, mama, If you’ve had a big dream on your heart for awhile – and need the extra help to make it come alive – these 1:1 sessions will help you set up the foundation for your business goals, or side hustle goals and take you out of an overwhelmed state and into a place where you feel excited + motivated to walk forward toward your dream working mom life. This is also for those moms who find themselves longing for something more; you love your kiddos and your family life but you have a dream or desire to launch a business, pursue a passion or a side hustle. I see you, mama, because I’ve been there!
You deserve to be fulfilled, you deserve to pursue your dreams mama! Because our dreams don’t stop when we become moms. In fact I think motherhood unveils our dreams even more because our souls are cracked wide open as a mother, a caregiver, as someone who is now navigating the challenges of parenting, and caring for another human being while maintaining our other core relationships with our partners, our friends and our other family members, and the relationship with our self (the most important one!)
Sign-up via the link – to schedule a 15-minute intro chat to talk about your goals for coaching and then we can take it from there!
Just schedule a time to chat here: and we’ll discuss your questions, concerns, and fears about signing up for a 1:1 session! We’ll go over what you can expect in our sessions together.
I can’t wait to help you get started in reaching your big goals in 2022 and beyond!
Email me with any questions – I’m always open to chatting further! ????
Sign-up for the Free Calm the Chaos Planner from The Working Mom Collective, where you can finally start to imagine your goals and take action steps toward achieving them daily – even if you currently do not have a daily practice set-up. This planner is 14 pages of actionable steps you can start taking toward achieving your goals – and walking in the direction of your most purposeful life.
Listen on Apple Podcasts:
Confessions of a Working Mom Season 3, Episode 10