Season 3, Episode 8: Putting a Hard Stop to Complaint Culture with Lori Oberbroeckling
That elusive work/life balance is something we all hear about when we become parents. We hear that it’s a precious brass ring that we must reach for but at the same time we hear that it’s impossible to do it all. That’s because “balance” is an act that requires constant work and we get tired. We struggle. We deal with tiny humans that have billions of variables and emotions while trying to manage our own.
This week’s guest on Confessions of a Working Mom is Lori Oberbroeckling, a mother of 4 who works in corporate clinical research, nurtures several side hustles, and is a master of finding time in her busy working mother schedule to find alignment between work and home.
Balance and Alignment Are Different
Balance is pushing from one side and pulling from the other, all with the hope that everything will end up on the same level. But life doesn’t work that way. Alignment is everyone on the team working to add support where it’s needed.
You don’t have to do everything on your own and trying to make balance happen that way will have you running back and forth adding support to each side of your life and never catching up. This is setting yourself up for failure and it makes room for all kinds of guilt.
Build the Family Schedule Together
Kids can do more than you think they can! Lori talks about her kids getting older and how she sees them doing things without being asked. This comes from involving them and you can do this with everyone in the family according to their age and ability.
Bring the family together to talk about who needs to be where and when. When everyone is involved in putting these things on the calendar, it helps them to remember better. When your oldest sees that your youngest has a big test to study for on Friday, it might make them think twice about them not wanting to be at their soccer game the evening before.
Include Meals and Cleaning Schedules
Instead of doling out tasks and telling everyone what meals will happen when, involve them in building those schedules too. If your partner isn’t happy about pizza night on Friday, maybe they’ll choose to cook a different meal that day. If your kids are involved in making lists and assigning tasks, it helps them to feel like they have more autonomy.
Keep it Positive
Guilt and resentment happen often when there’s room for blame. Making lists and sharing them with your family gives them reasons to feel like they’re being managed and opens the door to resentment.
Communication is important for keeping things aligned but it’s also key for showing how equity works. Lori talks about writing down everything you do for your partner and it can also work for older kids. Show them exactly what you do instead of asking for help.
Read More About This
There are more tips in Lori’s book “Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed
at Work and Home and How You Can Too!” On our podcast, we also spoke a lot about complaint culture and how it affects our physical health. Learn about how you can make a few small changes to improve your working mom life and join the conversation!
Sign-up for the Free Calm the Chaos Planner from The Working Mom Collective, where you can finally start to imagine your goals and take action steps toward achieving them daily – even if you currently do not have a daily practice set-up. This planner is 14 pages of actionable steps you can start taking toward achieving your goals – and walking in the direction of your most purposeful life.
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Confessions of a Working Mom Season 3, Episode 8
